The Next Big Struggle
by foreverlovingmonchele
Summary: Eight months after losing her on again off again boyfriend Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry is diagnosed with Leukemia and the one person who has been with her through her grief. Noah Puckerman, her friend and the only person she wants there through her next big battle.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: Mentions of cancer and character death. This story is set in Season Five of Glee eight months after the death of Finn Hudson where Rachel Berry begins a struggle of her own outside of her grief._

**Chapter One – Doctors and Bruises**

For Rachel Berry there was a lot that was to be said about days that she wasn't feeling her best, being run down and tired wasn't something the petite brunette was used to. It was a dreary, rainy, New York morning and Kurt and Santana had already left their Bushwick loft to go to work and school yet Rachel barely had the energy to get out of bed. It seemed as though she had little to no energy and she had to actually force herself to get out of bed. That was the first sign that something was wrong, the second was the deep black and yellow bruises that she spotted on her right hip and along her spine when she finally went to go and have a shower.

Rachel Berry _never_ bruised, she just didn't. She hadn't taken a fall that could possibly be the cause of the bruises on her body and couldn't remember a time where she had done anything that could cause them at all. She wasn't sure why she was worrying but there was a dark cloud looming over head and a bad feeling in the depths of her stomach that were leaving her with a worried feeling. Calling her fathers back in Lima, Ohio she got their opinions on the situation. Both of them told her to go and see a doctor and by four o'clock that afternoon she was sitting in a doctors office nervously tapping her foot and yawning every now and then.

She was exhausted but fifteen minutes later when her name was called she walked down the bright white halls and into the office of her new GP. His wooden desk was the only thing between them and she could hear her heart beating in her ears as the nerves set in.

"So Miss Berry what seems to be the problem?" He asked with his fingers poised and ready to start typing up her answers and to write a prescription for her. When he didn't receive an answer he looked up at Rachel only to see her showing him her hip and her back that were home to bruises that had taken purchase on her body. "I haven't fallen recently and I don't recall any incident where I could have possibly bruised my hip or back." She said softly. As the doctor checked her over a small shiver ran down her spine and her mind went back to her roommates and wondering what they were doing as she tried to take her mind off of the doctor pressing down on her bruises. When he hit a particularly sensitive spot she jumped a little and bit her lip.

"I'm going to send you to get some blood drawn and I'll call you with the results. They'll be fast tracked and I should have them by tomorrow morning if not then it should be at least lunch time. For now just go home, get some rest and try not to worry." He explained and with that Rachel just nodded and got up. Leaving the office of her doctor she headed out to one of the nurses who drew three vials of blood. By the time she was done Rachel's head began to spin a little and she was promptly handed a glass of orange juice and told to stay until she didn't feel so woozy.

With worrying thoughts fluttering through her mind she made the journey back home in the back of a cab, too exhausted to walk or take any other form of transport. Walking tiredly up the stairs she forced a smile when she saw that her roommates were home and working on making dinner for them all. "I'm just going to head straight to bed guys but I'll see you both tomorrow morning." She said softly, heading off to her room she read through a piece of paper that she had been given and frowned. She didn't really understand the terms that were written down and decided to google them. It was during her google search that she realised that what they were testing for was cancer, what kind she wasn't sure but it was cancer markers and blood cell counts and other things that came up that immediately had the small diva worrying. Could it be true? Could she really be sick with something that could potentially end her life so suddenly?

She was already struggling with the loss of the love of her life, Finn Hudson. He had been gone for eight months now and there was still many days where she felt like a part of her had died with him, days where she simply could not get out of bed because of the crippling emotional pain that she was in. There was only one other person who understood how she felt and that was Noah Puckerman. While he was off doing his Air Force training out at New Jersey the pair would often talk and write to each other. Noah was Finn's best friend, they had grown up together and losing him had been like losing a piece of himself and that was part of how he understood the depth of Rachel's pain and grief. Kurt, Santana, Brittany, Finn, Sam, Blaine, Artie, Mercedes, Tina, Mike and everyone else was involved in Finn's life had lost him too but for Rachel and Noah it felt so much harder. Of course there was Carole and Burt too and she knew that they were all hurting but the only person she spoke to about her pain was Noah.

That night as she laid in bed tossing and turning she wondered if she should tell Noah about the blood that was taken and the bruises on her body or if she should just wait until she had an actual answer before speaking up. Waiting seemed like the logical solution but she wasn't sure if she could tell Noah anything at all. How could she put him through hell like that? But how could she face it alone? But of course she was thinking too much into it. She couldn't possibly have cancer, she just couldn't. She was healthy and strong and living an amazing life even after the tragic loss of the man that she thought was going to be her husband some day.

Finally after two hours of tossing and turning she managed to fall into a restless sleep. There was so many different things weighing down on her shoulders that she wasn't sure how she had managed to fall asleep at all. Not even sleep provided a place to escape from her thoughts. Within moments they had invaded her sleep and she was trapped in a nightmare. It continued on for the entire night, dreams of doctors with grim looks on their faces, Noah not talking to her, Kurt treating her like she would break and her fathers bringing her back home. She was trapped and she couldn't escape.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Mentions of cancer and character death. This story is set in Season Five of Glee eight months after the death of Finn Hudson where Rachel Berry begins a struggle of her own outside of her grief._

**Chapter Two – Tilted Axis**

Sixteen hours might as well have been sixteen years for Rachel, the wait was agonizing and there was no way that she could take her mind off of the possibility that she was really sick. When it was finally an appropriate time to be getting out of bed she got up, made breakfast for Kurt and Santana and sat down on the couch staring at her phone. All she needed to know was what was going on with her. Why was she so tired? Why was there inexplicable bruises on her body that she hadn't done anything to end up getting? What was going on?

As the minutes passed it seemed as though they were all lasting forever yet everything around her was a total blur. It was almost as if everything was moving in slow motion, there wasn't a thing that she could do to make it go back to normal until the waiting was over. By the time nine o'clock came around she felt like she was going to be sick from the nerves but at one past nine that morning her phone rang, it was the number of her doctors office and she immediately picked it up. What she heard wasn't what she had expected though. They had asked her to come in to discuss her results.

After hanging up she got dressed and headed back to her doctor's office. She really didn't want to hear what the doctor had to say because she knew that coming in meant something was wrong. The entire walk there she was yawning and shivering a little as the cold hit her tanned skin even though she had put a jacket on and was keeping herself warm. Entering the office the lady on reception gave her a sad look and pointed to the first door on the right. With a small nod she went down the hall and knocked once before walking in and sitting down across from her doctor similar to how she had the day before.

With a grim look on his face he passed the results over the top of the table to Rachel. _"I'm sorry Miss Berry but your blood work shows that you have a leukemic syndrome known as Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It's more common in children but adults do get it too. I sincerely wish that I had better news for you but I can refer you to one of the best oncologists in New York."_ He explained but to Rachel everything else he had said was nothing, she had lost the ability to process a thought properly the moment he told her what type of leukemia that she had. Everything else was just a confused blur as he handed her pamphlets and suggested she go in and make an appointment with the oncologist.

After everything was done at the doctors office she felt like she was about to fall to the ground, her legs felt like jelly and her hands wouldn't stop shaking. It was then that yet another symptom decided to strike her down, a nosebleed. Never in her life had she ever had a nosebleed and as she leaned against the nearest building with her head tilted she was waiting for it to pass and trying to ignore the fact that her head was throbbing and all she wanted to do was lay down and relax for the rest of the day and maybe even make a call to Noah in an attempt to distract herself.

When it had finally passed she sighed and continued her short journey to the oncologists office. In a world full of people, people who got similar diagnoses everyday she felt entirely alone. There wasn't a single person there for her when she had found out and even now she was struggling to realised that she could very well remain alone in it all. Sure her dads would be there but their entire lives were in Lima and she planned on staying in New York because there was no way that she could let her entire life shut down completely. She still had classes to attend at NYADA and she simply couldn't return to Lima and see the look of sadness in people's eyes, especially the eyes of one Carole Hudson. She just _couldn't_ do it.

Within an hour she had schedule an appointment for the next day around lunch time and from there she knew that beyond that point her life and her battle was in the hands of the oncologist that she had been referred to. She wasn't sure what the course of treatment would be but she didn't want to worry about that until the next day. For the rest of the day she wanted to go home and forget that it existed, forget that she existed and that her body had the chance of losing it's own battle. When she finally arrived back at the loft she made the phone call to Noah and sighed when she didn't get an answer.

With tears in her eyes she left a voice mail for him. "Noah, it's me, Rachel. I um.. I just.. I really _really_ need to talk to you." She said before hanging up. She was home alone, there wasn't anyone else around and as she went to sit outside on the fire escape that's when it really hit her while her eyes scanned over the piece of paper still in her hand. Before she knew it she was screaming, screaming so loudly that she got looks from people down on the street and that was it, that was the beginning of her breaking down as she tried to accept the fact that she had cancer. Sitting there she cried and cried, her eyes rimmed red and sore as the tears took over and eventually gave way to gut wrenching sobs. She needed Finn, needed Noah, she needed just one of them to be there holding her and reassuring her that everything was going to be alright.

The word kept replaying in her mind over and over again.

Cancer.

**Cancer.**

_Cancer._

Rachel Berry had cancer, how was she ever meant to accept or deal with such a thing? Could she fight it? Would she lose her hair? Would she end up stuck in hospital for extended periods of time? Would anyone truly be there for her the entire time and not just there because they felt pity towards her? They were all questions that the shivering brunette simply didn't have answers to.


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Mentions of cancer and character death. This story is set in Season Five of Glee eight months after the death of Finn Hudson where Rachel Berry begins a struggle of her own outside of her grief._

**Chapter Three – The Battle Begins**

Rachel hadn't been able to get in contact with Puck ever since her diagnosis but she had ended up telling Kurt in a moment of weakness she broke down in front of him and spilled the beans on the secret she had so desperately wanted to keep to herself. Now that he knew it felt as though there was a small weight lifted off of her shoulders but there was a part of her, a small one, that wanted it all to be over. She wanted to be with Finn again, curled up in his arms in bed and feeling safe. But that wasn't going to happen and she knew that Kurt wasn't about to let her give up the fight so easily.

By the time Wednesday had rolled away she was a nervous wreck, her first round of appointments was coming up and she was heading to a fertility clinic. She knew that there was a risk that she wouldn't be able to fall pregnant after her treatments but she hoped more than anything that she would be fine and that she wouldn't need any help conceiving a child. She had never felt so awkward in her life before as she walked into the clinic and sat there alone, she had refused to let Kurt accompany he. Instead her fathers had gone to wait in the waiting room with her, knowing that their daughter needed them now more than ever.

Once her name was called she walked in and within minutes they had a drip in her hand and she was slowly falling asleep. She wasn't completely asleep but she couldn't feel a thing. By the time it was over and they were happy to let her go she was greeted by her fathers who took her out to the car and drove towards the hospital. The next part of her day would consist of going through her first round of chemotherapy and being admitted overnight for observation after it all.

Reaching the hospital she checked in and was admitted within the hour. Everything else seemed to pass in a blur, she was asked question after question, checked over by her oncologist and had some blood drawn before she was changing into her pajama's and a nurse was inserting an intravenous line into her arm so they could administer the medication. The entire time LeRoy and Hiram were by her side, taking turns holding her hand and reminding her that it would be okay. After two hours her phone went off and she saw Puck's face appear on the screen.

"Noah, you finally called." She mumbled tiredly. Hearing his voice was the one thing that made her happy after all of the time that she had spent worrying about the uncertainty of her future. _"Hey Rach, you didn't sound so good in your voicemail. What's up?"_ He asked as Rachel bit her lip and wondered if she should just tell him. Before she could answer a wave of nausea hit her, she paled and immediately grabbed the bucket beside her throwing up into it after dropping her phone on the bed. While she was occupied with the intensity of her stomach churning Hiram filled Puck in on what was going on and ended up leaving the room as he tried to comfort the man on the other end. _"There isn't really anything I can promise, Noah. She's incredibly sick but she's strong and stubborn. I've spoken with Shelby and she's been tested so if she needs any kind of blood products or a bone marrow transplant she's got a willing donor. Yes, I know it's unfair but she can handle this. If you want to see her I'll send LeRoy to come and pick you up."_ He said before they continued on speaking about everything and Hiram filled Puck in on everything they were doing to cure his daughter. It was then that he realized that Rachel may be lucky enough to have at least a great friend in the once misbehaved and misunderstood teenager he knew.

Back in the room Rachel was trying her hardest not to cry but was failing miserably. She hadn't expected to feel like this so quickly and as she laid there with tears in her eyes and it was then that the harsh reality hit her and she finally gave in and cried into her fathers shoulder after he had climbed up into the bed with her and held his daughter to his chest. "What else can happen? I lost Finn and now this, how am I meant to beat this?" She asked while LeRoy just rubbed her back and reassured her that she was strong and that she could get through this. He kept saying that he loved her and that things would work out and that she now had a guardian angel watching over her. Hearing that she cried a little harder because she knew it was the truth. Finn was watching over her and making sure that she would be alright in the long run.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Mentions of cancer and character death. This story is set in Season Five of Glee eight months after the death of Finn Hudson where Rachel Berry begins a struggle of her own outside of her grief._

_I also just wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews and everyone who has read the story so far. It really means a lot to me and I am glad that there are people enjoying it and waiting to see what happens._

**Chapter Four – A Little Comfort**

The night had been a long and grueling one for Rachel, the nausea medication hadn't worked and she was throwing up at least once every hour. Her entire body was aching from her head down to her toes, into the deepest parts of her bones and she was barely able to get comfortable. The bed felt as though it was made of rocks and she hadn't slept more than an hour throughout the entirety of the night. Naturally she was disappointed that she hadn't been able to speak to Puck but she didn't need him hearing her being so sick. Of course she was well aware that her fathers had probably filled him in on everything but she what she didn't know was that she would end up getting a special visitor that morning. Her hospital stay was set to be two days long and she was just under twenty-four hours into it so far.

That morning she had been offered something to eat and promptly refused, she had nothing left in her system to throw up yet she had been sick four times since the sun had risen. But when she was offered an extra blanket for her shivering body and some pain medication she happily accepted both and let herself give in to the relief she was given from the pain. She had tried taking paracetamol but it hadn't worked, informing her nurse, nurse Sally, she was given a dose of morphine which worked within ten minutes and she was left laying there watching the tv and daydreaming.

By the time ten o'clock had arrived and visiting hours had started there was a knock at her door but no answer from the other side. Rachel was fast asleep and breaking out in a cold sweat. When there was no answer Puck walked into the room and was almost brought to tears when he saw the state Rachel was in, Carefully sitting down on the edge of her bed he grabbed the hand towel and got up to dampen it. Carefully dabbing at her forehead he sighed and wondered why someone so beautiful and talented had to go through something so harsh especially after losing the man she was once engaged to and had her future planned out with. When he noticed her stirring he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. _"Hi my Jewish American Princess."_ He said while smoothing her hair back. _"How you feeling?"_ He asked.

Blinking against the light she couldn't quite make out who it was that was touching her forehead in the most tender way she had ever experienced or who it was speaking until she finally woke up a little more. "Noah." She murmured, her exhaustion was evident in her voice but she wanted to make the most of his visit, knowing that it wouldn't be too long. "I feel awful." She admitted, opting for honesty over anything else in that moment. "I'm so sorry." She whimpered as tears finally fell from her eyes and she broke down in front of him for the second time throughout their entire friendship. _"Rach.. come on.. it's okay, you're gonna be okay."_ He said as he laid down beside her and pulled her to his chest, gently rubbing her back. Rachel cried into his chest, she hated being sick and hated showing her weakness but she trusted Puck and knew that he wouldn't do anything to hurt her, especially now. "I'm really glad you're here." She said softly as he kissed her forehead again and held her close to his body. _"I'm not going anywhere for as long as possible. Finn wouldn't want you going through this alone and I don't want you to either. So whatever it takes, however hard it gets, I'll stand by you and you can call me whenever you need to. I know you're scared and I am too but you can beat this."_ Naturally Noah Puckerman wasn't a man of many words but in this situation with everything that they had been through he seemed to have it in him to ramble.

After that they fell silent and Rachel continued on crying softly into his chest and letting Puck comfort her. As he continued on rubbing her back she slowly calmed down and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep in the arms of one of her dearest friends who truly was making her feel safe. She had to trust Puck and trust herself that she could get better and get on with her life. Noticing that she was asleep Puck smiled softly and kissed her forehead again before letting himself begin to drift off to sleep alongside her, refusing to leave her when she was so vulnerable, scared and obviously missing Finn when he would be the rock that was usually there for her in times of need.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note: Mentions of cancer and character death. This story is set in Season Five of Glee eight months after the death of Finn Hudson where Rachel Berry begins a struggle of her own outside of her grief._

**Chapter Five - I'll Stand By You**

Noah Puckerman had been a ladies man once upon a time, he had slept around and made his own fair share of mistakes but all he needed was someone to love him. But sitting there in the hospital room with Rachel looking so small in the bed beside him was doing something to him, making him realise that there was something there for the petite brunette. He had to protect her, had to make sure that she thought this battle and won. Letting her lose simply wasn't an option and even though he was based out in New Jersey he knew that he could be there, he would promise that he was only a phone call away should she need him.

That night had been hard one for Rachel, she was having bad dreams and was up and down vomiting all night and each time she woke Puck was there rubbing her back, holding her hair, wiping the sweat from her forehead and laying with her when she asked him to. He understand that she was in pain, that her bones were aching and that she would have moments where she didn't want to be touched but it scared him. She looked so fragile even though all of this had only just started. It was only day two after treatment and he had foolishly thought that that would mean things would get better, they hadn't. They had gotten worse and the more pain she was in and the sicker she felt the more miserable she became. At one point she was mumbling something about joining Finn and being with him again which had sent a painful stabbing feeling through his chest. He had already lost his best friend but the thought of losing Rachel too was enough to bring tears to his eyes and fear to his heart. This was a lot to take on for both of them but she needed emotional support and Finn wasn't around to provide it.

Puck had joined the Air Force as a way of doing something that his best friend didn't get the chance to do and in those final moments they had together he promised to look after Rachel and make sure that she never gave up on her dreams of Broadway. For him, he was taking on a lot of work that he was never sure he could succeed in. Could he make it? Could he be the pilot he wanted while making Finn proud of him? Could he prove everyone from his past wrong? Was it even possible? They were all questions that he simply did not have the answers to, no matter how hard he tried there wasn't an answer. While it was frustrating he knew that it was best to just do his best, work hard and achieve his own dreams. He was going to make it happen and now he knew that he had to make Rachel proud too but the thing he didn't know was that he already had. The petite brunette in the hospital gown beside him was his biggest fan and his biggest supporter and he didn't even know it. She had never come straight out and said it but it was there and it was the truth. Rachel adored him and was so proud of him for not letting himself become stuck in Lima like people assumed that he would.

When he heard Rachel stirring beside him he jumped a little and went over to her, sitting on the edge of her bed he pulled her to his chest as she shook. She was shivering, her body cold and breaking out in a cold sweat. It was killing him to see her this way and know that the only thing he could do was to rub her back and hold her close in attempt to warm her up and keep her calm. She wasn't really awake but she was clinging to him with a weak grip and mumbling something about Finn leaving before begging him not to leave her. It was all sinking in, his best friend had left and she could possibly leave too but she needed someone to be there and to hold her as close as possible. In the silence that followed he made a silent vow to be there for her as long as she needed and to visit as much as possible. He was going to be her rock and hope that in his absence Kurt and Santana would be able to pick up the slack and be the support system that she needed.

Slowly he laid down on the bed with Rachel in his arms, careful not to jostle her too much and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, breathing her in and closing his eyes. The last thing he wanted was to have to say goodbye to another person who meant so much to him, to lose the girl that had faith in him even when he was at his worst. He had done questionable things in the past but the past was the past and he was trying to be proud of who he was becoming now and be proud of the direction that his life was heading in. Only now the direction was switching once more and he was beginning to wonder if there was a way that he could be involved in Rachel's life without allowing past feelings to come back to the surface, feelings that he had spent so long pushing away for Finn to have the girl of his dreams and for Rachel to have the guy of hers. They were the perfect couple and Puck had never once tried to deny them of their union. He had been a loyal friend from the moment he realised that they would more than likely end up together and had always supported them in the only ways that he knew possible. Now things were changing, he wasn't thinking of a relationship though, he couldn't. Rachel was sick with an illness that could very well take her life and he was in the Air Force working hard to make something of himself.

As Rachel slept he laid there with her and began humming _Need You Now_to her in hopes of helping her relax. The song worked it's magic, her body went even more limp in his arms and let out a content sigh as she fell into an even deeper sleep. Noticing just how deeply asleep he was he smiled softly and ended up falling asleep with her wrapped up in his arms where she felt safe and warm. His sleep was dreamless, void of anything other than the warmth of the girl in his arms and the way it felt to feel useful again.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: Mentions of character death and cancer. This story is set eight months after the death of Finn Hudson where Rachel Berry begins a struggle of her outside of her grief. Also, I am extremely sorry about the lack of updates however this chapter will be followed by another in the coming days. Thank you for stick with this story and with me and these characters – Jess._

**Chapter Six – Midnight Hallucinations**

It had been a week, a week of struggling and a week of fighting for Rachel. She was struggling to do anything, getting out of bed was the hardest task of her day and she was trying so hard to act normal and be normal yet it just wasn't happening. She had gone to one class only to be sent home half way through it because she was on the verge of passing out and really just needed to be home in bed. It was frustrating at the best of times but she knew that her health and well being trumped going to classes any day. Her fathers had taken action and deferred her course for a year until she was hopefully in remission because they weren't about to let her fail her classes purely because she was sick. Luckily for Rachel they had agreed and she was going to be able to focus on the most important things for the time being.

Throughout the duration of her treatment her mind had wandered back to Finn continuously. In her darkest hours in the middle of the night when she was completely alone he would appear, he would tell her to continue fighting and his figure would sit on the end of her bed looking back at her telling her that she was strong and that he was there helping her along. Rachel was hallucinating from all of the drugs she had been given and the fever that had spiked up during the night but in those dark moments he was there. Her Finn was there and looking after her and he wasn't leaving her. Scooting over in her bed she watched as he moved and wrapped his arms around her. "I've missed you so much, Finn. You have no idea how hard life is without you here. It's so so hard. Everyone thinks I'm okay but I'm not and now this, I'm not sure I can fight it without you. I'm scared of dying but at the same time I know that if I did, I would be with you again. We could get our happily ever after, just in another place." She said. _"You can't die, Rach. I can't let you. I love you too much, you're the love of my life and I refuse to let you lose this fight."_ He said back to her. Little did she know that Puck had walked in, he hadn't left her side and in reality it was him that was there holding her but he let her talk to Finn. It was a one sided conversation on his end but he knew that talking to Finn could possibly help Rachel and he wasn't going to shatter that moment for her. "It hurts so much but I..I.. I promise I'll fight. Noah.. Noah needs.. needs me to fight.. I think." She mumbled before finally falling asleep clinging to the warm body holding her.

Later that morning Rachel woke up to a room filled with bright colors and photos strung up on a string across her window. It was Puck's doing, he had gotten to work wanting to brighten up her room as much as possible and evoke happy memories within her. With a yawn she rubbed her eyes and squinted against the light shining into the room. When she finally came out of her tired state she looked around the room and a smile soon lit up her features. "This is amazing." She whispered to no one in particular. When Puck cleared his throat he smiled down at her and went to sit beside her. _"I figured you deserved some kick ass memories in here. Like the time we won Nationals and all that other stuff." _He said while wrapping his arm around her shoulders and rubbing her arm gently to generate some warmth into her chilled body. "Thank you, Noah. It's.. it's perfect. I miss him, even if I did dream of him last night.. It's just so weird, he's not here but in some way he is." She knew that she probably sounded a little crazy but she loved Finn and not having him there was so hard for her. "But you were here.. you held me last night didn't you?" She asked. Puck didn't say anything he just kissed her temple, it was the only answer that she needed in that moment. "He would be proud of you. And I know that he would appreciate you being here for me and being the support that you have been for me." Perhaps she had spoken those words before, perhaps she hadn't and maybe she didn't say them enough. There was so many words but none seemed to formulate into coherent sentences that could describe just how special Puck was to her or how amazing it was to have him in her corner when everything seemed so desperately hopeless. Taking care of someone with cancer, loving and supporting them was no easy feat but Noah Puckerman stepped in and he did just that. He had loved Rachel from afar for so long that now it just felt natural to look after her when she was in her most vulnerable state. He was there and she was fighting as hard as she possibly could.

Getting up from the bed she walked over to the window examining each and every photo slowly. "Do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time?" She asked. "Hypothetically speaking that is." She added, her hands were slightly shaky as they ghosted over the photo of Rachel with both Puck and Finn either side of her. They had been there for her through so much and now this was just another that both of them were going through alongside her. _"I think it's possible but it's also complicated. Like do you love one more or less? Or is it equal or different? It's kind of confusing."_ He admitted while Rachel nodded and moved onto the next photo. "That's the funny thing, you can't compare loves and I don't think any two are the same. They all have different little aspects and quirks and you can't compare one to the other. It would be like trying to compare snowflakes in the midst of a winter storm, impossible. And some people.. they're just.. destined for more than one great love. Others.. they aren't so lucky but that doesn't mean that it won't ever happen for them." She was rambling but her mind had been on love a lot recently and she needed to get it all off of her chest. Puck was the only person who really seemed to understand her and understand that she needed to speak of the things that were on her mind. It helped her to make sense of everything and in a way it was helping him to get a better insight into the mind of the girl who was always so complex and rather closed off especially if she was scared or hurting in some way.

Eventually she sat down again, the silence that had overcome them was one of thoughtfulness and deep thinking as they processed everything that had been said. And for Rachel it was a necessity to sit down and try to relax before she fell down. "I hate this." She mumbled. As she laid down on her side Puck noticed the darkest bruises dotted along her spine and his breath hitched in his throat. _"I hate it too, just rest though, Rach. I'll be here."_ He reassured her. Pulling her into his arms he pressed a kiss to the top of his head and breathed in her scent for a few moments. "Don't you have to go back to base?" She asked, she didn't want him to leave but she also knew that she couldn't keep him with her all the time either. He had training to attend and she had to deal with the fact that she would be alone for a lot of it. While she would miss him she understood that she couldn't make him stop things just for her. "Make me proud. Live for me." She mumbled as she slipped back into a restless sleep filled with pain filled groans.


End file.
